A few months ago, I made a post on a social networking site asking for someone to let me buy them a coffee and write about the experience. I was hoping to mark another item off my list, specifically “have a meaningful conversation with a stranger”. Someone who read my blog replied, and I met Tyler at a coffee shop later that week.

Things seemed a little awkward at first, and I worried that the pressure to have a meaningful conversation would prevent us from actually having one. We started out talking about our day to day lives, and getting to know each other a little better. We didn’t talk much online before hand, mostly so they would still be a stranger to me when we met. I was surprised at how much we had in common; we were both trans, both students in our second-to-last semester at school, and we both work at a coffee shop.

I have spent a great deal of time overcoming my social anxiety, but the truth is, the things on this list that scare me the most are not the truly dangerous ones. I’ll jump 18,000 feet out of an airplane, or swim with sharks, but opening up to a stranger or performing at an open mic? Wild.

Tyler is a psychology student who hopes to work helping other trans/queer people after he graduates. We talked a little about a trans support group he was a part of, and I realized I don’t have any other close friends who are trans. He seemed genuinely saddened when I said I didn’t have any mentors or know many other trans people in real life. For some reason, it never occurred to me to look within the trans community for support. My life was thoroughly uprooted a few months ago when my parents decided to cut contact with me, take me off their insurance, and remove me from the family accounts. As much as I hate to admit it, I am terrified of how alone I am. I am so grateful for my friends and the support they give me, but I don’t know what I’ll do when I graduate and many of us go our separate ways. There is something to be said for “found family”, but I can’t shake the feeling that if my biological family can leave so suddenly, so could my friends.

Here in the midst of the holiday season, though, I am reminded of how lucky I am to be continuously surrounded by those who care about me. This is my first Christmas without my parents and without my twin brother. It’s been hard in some ways, but positive in others. My conversation with Tyler helped to remind me that there is more support out there than I thought, and that, if I choose to look for it, there is no reason why I would have to get through this alone.

I look forward to meeting more not-so-strangers in the future, and continuing to expand my network of friends as time goes on.

To anyone celebrating the holiday alone, or not celebrating at all, hang in there. This is only the beginning of the story.